shiver me timbers

Due to the fact that I spent the past forty eight hours watching TV in bed, I've had my fill of your standard morning news shows. GMA, Today, that one with Kathie Lee Gifford and the lady whose name sounds like Honda, yep i've seen it all, even suffered through the view once or twice. I have offically declared Whoopi Goldberg a creeper by the way.
Anywaysies, while I was watching the aforemeantioned morning news shows, when I wasn't snoozing away I got to catch up on the news of the world.
I can't belive there are still pirates! When I first heard the news... this following dialougeish thing came to mind.
Meredith: Arrrg Good Mornin' America! It's Meredith Viera here with Robin Roberts.
Robin: Did someone forget to have their coffee this morning? Because I swear I just heard you say "Arrg". Anyway, the Obama's got a puppy -is cut off by Meredith-
Meredith: Why yes I did say "Arrrg", I had an interview with the wife of one of the people on the American Boat that was taken on a joy ride by pirates.
-cuts to interview-
Meredith: So how did you first find out?
Pw (pirate wife: The government officals told me. My husband also managed to get reception at sea so he texted me after he was held hostage.
Meredith: Wow, how'd that happen?
PW: We have Verizon, they do sure go with you wherever!
Meredith: Do you still have the text?
PW: Why yes I do
"Mom i'm @ da movies w/ Sandi and Cheryl. Stole car keys off counter. I kno u keep them behind the cookie jar. Txt u after party @ Kyle's."
Meredith: :O
PW: Woops wrong one! Here it is
"I've been captured by somalian pirates. Jack Sparrow and Co are keeping us hostage. Text you once I take off my hook leg and get this patch off my eye. Send the parrot.
Meredith: Did he honestly say that?
PW: You don't understand... Polly is extremely reliable. We trained her using the parrot approved obedience methood of saltines and bird seed.
Meredith: NO NOT THE PARROT! *mutters under breath* I am a serious journalist... why does Diane get to be on twenty twenty and take five zillion vacations when I get stuck with the crazies who lack parenting skills?
PW: *lightbulb flashes over head* Ohhh I get it now! Yes he did say that.
Meredith: I need a vacation.
PW: Just don't go to Somalia! There are vengful pirates there!
Meredith: I know there are pirates! The purpose of this interview is to discuss them!! *head explodes in journalistic impaitence*
PW: *sniffle* I thought it was to promote my memoir! That's what the producer told me.
Meredith: Pirates are more important than your memoir honey.
PW: I'm so unappreciated! -storms off set- DON'T FORGET TO BUY "A SEA MANS LADY" OUT IN MAY 2OO9 IN BOOKSTORES NEAR YOU!
-Interview ends-
Robyn: Well that was...interesting. Now here's Al Roaker with the weather!